IMVU : Ma page d'Avatar : Filbert

Mon URL

Welcome you sexy son of a bitch

Clurk around ya dumb imbasile D:< do eeeeht. DO IT OnO....
rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr

BACK IN MY DAY A SELFIE IS WHEN YOU SUCKED YOUR OWN DICK!

I need to just bust into a dicks sporting good... Screaming "I NEED SOME DICK SUCKING KNEE PADS!!!"

The song, is uhm... ROUTE 29 FROM POKEMON HEARTGOLD SOULSILVER GO LOOK FOR IT ON THE INTERNET! oh wait... youre already on the... ~facepalm~

SO I Filbert, formerly purpletapeoncheese.... am actually the idiotic Freakingperv that ran a muck for a couple of months.

Baby. Your face. Can i lick it? ~licks it~ too fookin' bad♥ >:D

Hey with the amount of trouble my profile gives me, youd think i was paying for a 2 year old prostitute!

I WANNA ROLL WITH... THE GANGSTA'S... BUT OH' WELL IM SO WHITE AND NERDY, HOWD I GET SO WHITE AND NERDY? HOLY COW IM SO WHITE AND NERDY♪

remember, that... Freakingperv loves you, even when you are hated.... by freakingperv... you know what?! just stay. and enjoy you lovely cookalook!

After time, wounds heal, people are forgotten in the bliss of the joyous mountain called time, alas, we scrabble at our feet, for mounds to hold grasp' unto the depths of happiness, while below, despair wither and wilt all that is brought distaste upon us all, in my torment, i remembered, what i had lost, and thought i had lost it, narry a day had been more bitter, but goodness gracious here i am, alive, kicking, remembering what was suffered, remember kids, TIME HEALS, but fate screws.

An unwritten rule states that from the 29th or the 6th month, i shall be a dick/ass. o -o... on sunday. >u<

About my bum~

First off, i want to get it off my chest. I really don't give a fuck what you think about me. OKAY? OKAY. COOL i'll let you stroke my pussy now, lemme at dat dick OuO

I am a weird ass who wants to confuse the fuck out of you.

Oh, and my Real name... IS a secret. Just call me Fil or Filbert.. FEAR ME I HAVE THE POWER TO TICKLE THAT DICK! i'll stroke it til you're blind. Oh and rates are 5 dolla for a hour. Do what you will, Just know, My dick is bigger than yours, and my tits are pathetic. Like these hungabungabaloons make kim Kardashian look like a damn new years blimp that's boutta bust a nut all over new York. LIKE DAYUM GIRL GIMME SOMMA DAT TITTY MILK D;
:D
, AGED AT Fuck you.
i LOVE my friends~ the bestest ones are on my friends tab c:.... .
I like... moosic.
I like crude, dark, and stupid humor. Honestly. Anything can be joked about. if you're the type to get "Butthurt" or "offended" at anything, seriously fuck right off. I'm pretty sure I've had the same shit or worse happen to me. I dont wanna hear your bleeding pussy sobstory.

Whoa ... did you notice the music ~jams~

Lmfao the music is fucked it hasnt worked since 2015

HAY GUYS I FIXED EHT. FINALLY -January 12th 2018

I can play the trombone, I've been playing for about 9 years now. I'm pretty bomb ass. The last year, I havent really picked it up much, but everytime i do, "its just like riding a bicycle!"

you like that.... no no i didn't either... nvm mate

Hey! my relationship status is currently … SINGLE! yeah im kinda talking to somebody, but honestly, it aint going anywhere, and i'll dip on 'em in a heartbeat because they're compulsively lying, prolly fuckin somebody else and keeping 'me' as a side nigga. I don't think i'm going to "Actually" hook up with that one. Just something to laugh at ♥

MATE. im probrably the most FUCKED UP person you will EVER get the displeasure of meeting. BUT IF YOURE INTO THAT --- yeah its the internet, i can be whatever, do whatever and you cant say shit about it --- well you could,.. but....

. If you are my friend, KEEP THAT SHIT UP
You're fucking beautiful. all of you. I love you.

EWWWW I HATE THE MOBILE USERS SO MUUUUUCH KEEP THE DIRTY PLEBIANS AWAY Dx

haha. jk. I love you guys.

I love IMVU and chatting. Its like... My life. HELL video games in general is my life. I love video game music more than anything. Like I had a heavy mental debate whether or not to use this song, or like... something bad ass from metal gear solid. or something kawaii that I love. LOL nerdgasm.

I'm a huuuuuuuuuuuge nerd.

I don't really watch a lot of TV, or anything so..Honestly… video game references make me horny. Just fuckin' MMM. spam me with puns pls.

DISCLAIMER: This information may or may not be accurate and may or may not be for comical purposes or just as a giant FUCK YOU from me to you! HAPPY HOLIDAYS and remember, I'm watching you fap.

My homos♥

REE♥: I luuuuurve you so much JEEZ... you know... with the time ive spent with you, i remember a lot, and well... knowing you may have made me a better person, just slightly... (or not xD) no but... there is a deeper message here, and i just want to say, thank you... for all the laughs, the love you gave me... for putting up with anything i could throw at you, i know i shuldnt be crying right now... but... i just cant help but tear up, knowing that we may never see each other again.... after all, work.... and our timezones.... ;____; and well you seem to have notched down, for a lovely time... while im here, trying to figure out what i want to do with my life... (~ ;-; )~ i love you ree... remember that, if you remember one thing about me... remember that, i love you..♥youbunches~

Miesha~ : ...Oh... Oh... I love you. I love you so... So much... I don't know how or why I got so attached to you so fast. I hate the way that I handled getting told "we need to take a step back" … I hate that I was rash and out in nowhere. I hate that my mind has so many quirks... I hate everything I've done to hurt your feelings. I'm slightly inconsiderate when i'm hurt. I don't know how to act... how to be... How to human. I don't know. When I first seen you, on the hood of that car. I thought "Wow... This person.. is so beautiful" On our way to Legion, I was awkward and talking nonsense trying to break the ice, It seemed to work and you melted right in. Little did I know, I melted too. It seemed to click, yaknow? I had planned on doing walks with you. Weekly walks. That was my intent. But it devolved into us not doing it. … At legion the first day, we walked a whole lap, then laid on the park benches and I played with your hair... It was soft... so soft, I could touch it for eternity. We talked... and talked. Then we went to books a million got coffee. You a latte, me a chai tea. It was delicious. The silence that filled the air, gruntled by us laughing and looking into each others faces. Only halted and hindered by the men facetiming each other 2 tables away behind you. You were so adorable. You looked back and got a startling glare as he shook his head, you seemed so hurt. You reared back and told me. I didn't see but I laughed as you imitated his face. We followed up with a small sit in at target, to go to the overlook in my hometown. We sat there and talked... About smells. You said I smelled nice, and I said "You kind of smell like... uh..." to which you blared out "LIKE PUSSY OH MY GOD!" I laughed. No. Not quite like pussy, but in a sense... yes. Yes you did. It was a sweet smell. A human smell. I don't know why, but it was one of the nicest smells i'd have smelled. It was alluring more than anyone i'd ever been around. It was really... attractive. It may sound weird reading this. But... I can't help myself. It was nice, okay. Like It was... idk indescribably good. As we started hanging out more and more, you were making me happier and happier each passing moment. To when we started our relationship I was the happiest i'd been in a long long time. Kissing you, was like mouth sex. It was better than sex. I'd do it forever.... Oh... yes... That one day where me trav, Kendal and you got me high for the first day... It was like... I'd had a dream of that exact moment when I was a child. Over and over. I didn't realize it until it was happening. It sounds strange, I know. But really. I did. I felt it. It freaked me out a little. But I loved it. The train tracks... Kendal talking about how you guys thought I wasn't good. I was trying to swallow chex mix, that you said I gutted like a fish. It was so delicious. Never thought chex mix could be so tasty. It felt like I was in heaven beside you. I could "Feel" you there. You guys said That I fell over and said "I love you Miesha" as I passed out, rolling over for a moment. I mean't it with everything in me. I still love you, even though I've hurt you and you blocked me... It pains me that I hurt you in such a way that you wanted to do that. I really wish I could take back what I said to tim. My mind was fucking me. I wasn't me, I don't know what came over me. Why I thought the things I think... I don't know. I don't...! I feel so stupid and selfish. So... unworthy and unjust. I feel like I've made a huge mistake one that I can't easily rectify. ------- Back to when we were high... We stumbled to my car. I was trying to tell you what I was experiencing. You didn't believe me. I was mumbling and in a stupor. limping with you holding me trying to keep me up. When we got to the car, Larry pulled home and was like "Hah... he's gone" I passed out in my seat and didn't realize it. You said that I rolled over and said "noooo……" as he asked if you wanted to see his plant. Sam and his sister rolled up and drove travis home. Shortly after they arrived, my dad called me and asked me what I was doing. I told him what was up, and he was really chill about it. He was telling me not to leave my car, and to not drive if I didn't think I could. You were saying "No, I won't leave him alone" … I deeply appreciate that and will remember that... forever... My dad was trying to tell me how to come down, or get more control of myself. It was great. When I came too, shortly after travis was gone, I felt angry... at myself. I didn't like that I didn't have control over myself like that, sure. I was just mad at myself.... I don't know why. I don't...! I had a good time, and it will be a pleasant memory for me, always. Thank you Miesha. For that memory. For that time... For that everything. Anyway... listen to me ramble on and on. I could talk about you for hours. Happily and gleefully. How I loved every moment I spent with you. Every... bloody second. I hate that we had to say "goodbye" the way we did. I don't... Quite... know how to put it. How to feel it... it feels wrong. Live I've made a terrible mistake with my life feeling what I felt to drive you away... I just want another chance. I've seldomly ever received a second chance... I love you... Deeply... purely... with every ounce and fiber of my being. I love you. Writing this... it's... It's hard to hold back my tears. I only wish the best of you... for you. I really... really really… hope you can forgive my broken spirit and mind... give me another chance and we can make it work for longer next time...? I hope? … If you find somebody else who is more fulfilling.. more... what you desire... in travis… like I think you have... I hope to god you're happier with him than you were with me. It would tear me up if you aren't... hell it tears me up being away from you... feeling like you're unphased from me. I.. just can't wrap my head around how you did it... It baffles me, I'm overthinking every little detail and thought. Driving myself to oblivion over it.... I really... really really really… want to believe there's something there for me and you. Like, I've never said that before to anyone. Not even Gracie. I legitimately... felt something. Deep. Something I thought I felt before.... This time? it's even more... more... filling more deeply gnawing at me. It's a pain I can't quite describe. Like everything in me screams for me to better myself for you. It screams that I've messed up like never before. My entire being wants to be there with you. Everything in me. It's a gut feeling... No, deeper than that. A cry from my heart. It quivers. It pierces my soul. It is driving me so utterly insane... Miesha. I will never ever forget you. The short time I spent with you, will always be fresh in my mind. I want you to be happy. And I want you to have a good life. Your time with me, was definitely a life changing experience. I only hope that you weren't meant to be a temporary soul in my life. No. I hope you were meant to be forever. If I could go back in time... I would definitely... love to relive my experience with you. over and over and over. On repeat. With time itself stopping only for you. I'd only change how I reacted when you felt you weren't ready... I believe you now, only after feeling like I wedged you away. I only wish I could see and feel it before I did so. I... am so unbearably torn by you.... You're too amazing of a person to just let go...… I say that... hoping that you don't let me go... I honestly. Truly to God, and everyone. I love you Miesha. I'm so painfully sorry that I have hurt you... I'm... just... So so ever... sorry. for everything... I love love you.

Babykitsune♥: kit. youve been with me ever since i can remember.... god... its been a while, hasnt it? I remember the good ol days back when we first met in that apartment.... god... ive changed a lot huh? well... you have too! youve gotten better, ive gotten pervier... and well... in hindsight, i think .... you are... just... amazing kit. i love you... Youre almost just like me. I love that♥ its a trait that i love in my friends.. i mean, you know. its like talking to myself, only you may give an even funnier response to a question. love ya♥♥♥

♥HAZE/EVELYN♥ : Well... what can i say? its been 5 years.... Holy fuck, I love you, mostly because, your my jo, MY MOJO♥ i loooooove you essa♥ No, But I love you because you're the one I turn to when I need to talk to somebody, hell not even Ree is deserving of it because she doesnt fucking talk to me. REE YOU HEAR THAT, YOU FUCKING HURT ME Lol jk ilu ree <3

Pachowable: Although nobody remembers you, i remember you, of 2 years. you were the best thing that happened to me, if fact, if you were to still be playing to this day... i do believe we would have been as close as ree and me... Now, although... i miss you like no other, i cant help but feel bad, knowing that your computer kind of.... went kerplunk. and youre probrably on imvu right now, with not a care in the world... forgotten me, in the dust... Purpletapeoncheese man♥ your homie ---purp

Liarys: Heya boo, you've been needed to have been added for a while a huehue. so here you are.........Daddy........Heh. i'm not even subtle am i? HAH. nah. the joke. THE FUCKING JOKE HOW LONG WILL IT LAST?!? too long o-o it'll never die. MISTER NEVERDIE! "You look like freddy kruger facefucked a avocado...it was hatefucking" shoot. Well, i usually add parts about people i like about them on here.... after he fact, most of the times. Heh... Well I mean i know you're gonna be off to college...soon and you'll be on less. So that means we won't be seeing each other balls deep in the middle of the night much more, does it? heh..... You're fun, yaknow? One of the rare people who I can legitimately just... talk with. randomly for hours and hours on end with no stop. Like. you know? People like that. I love them. and they're too far inbetween. Now... i know i may annoy you at times, and for that I apologize. my typing style is.... Interestingly annoying, i know ;c i'm sorry. i can't help it. Buh buh buh I love our chats bb c: I will remember you for a long time. heh. Hope i stick around for a while too, no c;?

MASA: heya buddy, been a long time coming since I added you, eh? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA, I stalk you a lot and we hang a lot, because Idk I just feel like I click with you more than anyone. I don't know why. It's weird. you remind me of the times I had with AshleySexyBitch3, Damn. Those were the days. trolling noobs, busting skulls, fuckin' bitches. LOL ah well. I have fun with you man. I love it. Thank you for making my return (because you were the first person I met when I opened up my laptop that i'm currently using) And I love it :D

Chrisetz: (Aka Pussy destroyer omegatron fisto 500 magneto assbanger, sexy as hell, makes bitches wanna love his long dong one ton) HEYA BUDDY, I JUST MET YOU, HAVE MY BABIES? MAYBE? I mean... I'm into weird freaky shit to, know what i'm sayin c; HAHAHAHA (GET ME THE SPEGGETTI, MY PUSSY IS READY BICH BOY HNNNNNNNNNNG ) anyway dis bich boi wants the credit for saying " I need to just bust into a dicks sporting good. Screaming I need some dick sucking knee pads" on me webpage on the front page v-v He did. SO I PUT HIM IN THE PLACE, CUZ HES A SEXY BIH, just lemme suck on that DIIIIIICK? lol no. but like butt stuff. know what i'm sayin' dog c;? huehuehue

SEPOLA♥ MY BUDDY ;______; I MISS YOU im tearing up you bastard ;o; i understand the world is hard work and you dont have time for lil ol' me... but ;n; remember im rooting for you man.

TOASTY - you act just like my friend, babykitsune, hell i wouldnt be shocked if you are kit! anywaaaaaaaaay, i just wanna say, i love the way you are ITS AMUSING! I LOVE IT~ i can tell were gonna be good friends.

LOL yeah.

So there it was.... The biggest dick id ever seen.... Right.... In my pants.

Fi' ho! Fi' ho! its off to bed we gooo~ and in that sack' 'well spread her crack FI' HO! Fi' HO!

fuck off♥ ~GASP!~ you like peepee! ~nods approvingly~

HEY, while your down here, mind to keep on looking? yeah. i lost something.

like my mind, I will trade you for it C:

yeah its a crappy deal, a mind for abag of air...
i see no difference.

SO 3 jews walked into a bar...... I lied, it was a gas chamber. HUEHUE

GO FORTH YOUNG VIRGIN! SPREAD 'EM WIDE AND PREPARE THE LOVE SLIDE!!!

Did i ever tell you about the time i sucked a dudes weiner? Well... I never sucked it.

Dont let my lies woo you, i SOOOO sucked that guy off. and he liked it.

Work it harder... Make it better, Do it faster makes us stronger~ More then ever, hour after, Our work is? NEVER OVER!♪♫
CAAAARL!!?

And so... Our story began... I started off with the biggest dick in all of the land... Soon to be shortened by the evil wizard of dicktopia... Who wanted his dick to be the biggest... Was i mad? Hardly. I got Tig' Ol bitties from that perverted fuck♥

[MY MIIIIIND!]
HEY YOU , FUCKFACE. ~looks at you~... i got your nooose~ ~runs away~ MY NOSE MINE! ~runs into wall~

man... i remember that one time i was soooo drunk... that i just ... sat there... and threw up. i thought it was funnier then shit ... my friend didnt... but you know. good times♥

LETS GET DRUNK! im gonna get naked, and run around the town, lets see who tries to rape me! ... wait a minute...

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG I GOTTA PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE D;

man... willy needs to find the chocolate factory. and fast, because this pussy is getting loose as fuck.

SO YOUR A SUICIDAL EMO? tell me more about how you slit yourself while i go talk to a veteran from vietnam.

Y-Y-Y-Y-YOUTUBE IS GAY, y-y-y-y-y-youtube has aids. THEY GOT THOSE SUPERAIDS.

UUUGH~ yes i did, yes i did, ruckas nucksa for life AND I FUCKED YOUR YOUR WIFE, AND I BUSTED TWICE ---uuung .u. nice.

man, did i ever tell you abut the time i got high as shit and danced naked for an hour? well... i did it o -o im not proud of it... but i did it.

RAIN RAIN MOTHERFUCKER RAIN.

man... my head... it itches ~scratches~ ~rips off ear~ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHA WHAT THE SHIT GHKAJFGHAKJDFGHA

HEY LOOK SON!!! a dickbutt ;D "WHERE" ON YOUR FACE! ~smacks you~

Leedle leedle leedle leedle

L
E
E
D
L
E

hey. pal. you blow in from stupid town?

GOOOOOOOOOOOD KJFHGFKDJHGKFGH sgjhdfkgjh

back to the time i was in dicktopia, so the wizard took my dick, and gave me tits, aye? well after i got my boobles, i went around stripping... i mean. the raunchy stuff, i sucked ya off for a nickle kinda rauchiness. After a year or 2 of blowin off bob, and dickie, the wizard with a realitively bigly short wang came to me ( yeah, he came on me) well,... .from that blow he liked , he granted me back my dick and took my tits, because, appearently he wanted to suck dick o -o (what a freak right? i was only doing it because i couldnt fuck no more hoes ; o ; ) PLOT TWIST, i was actually a pimp and the wizard was a doctor c; DUN DUN DUUUUN

Hey you. Dickface. yeah, you you cocksucking bonerbouncing cumdumpster ། ﹒︣ ‸ ﹒︣ ། The fuck bra?

HEY HEY HEY :D so i was thinking.... wait a minute.... im drunk im not thinking. no no nevermind go go you go please :c

BUAHAHAHAHAHAH

all this less than BR greater than is hurting my skull TAKE IT ALL AWAY WITH THE MEDS ~pops pills~ o -o.... glfkhglkudahjglkjfadhga ~falls over~ ~spasms~ MOMMA? IS DAT YOOOOU?

Holy shit....? Where am I? ~sees giant dick-o-copter~ heaven -u- Fuckyeah.

♫On the first day of christmas my true love gave to me a dismembered dead zombie~ ♪

♪on the second day of christmas my true love gave to me 2 shot gun shells and a dismembered dead zombie~♫

On the third day of christmas my truelove said to me 3 shots' a -vodka 2 shotgun shells and a dismembered dead zombie~

On the fourth day of christmas my truelove gave to me 4 severed limbs♫ 3 shots vodka 2 shotgun shells and a dismembered dead zombie.

ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TRUELOVE GAVE TO ME FIVE DEEEEEAAAAD♪ BRAAAAAAAAAINAS (yeah braaaaaaains♥) 4severedlimbs 3shotsvodka 2shotgunshells and a DIIIIIIISSSSSSMMMMEMBERED DEEEEEEAAAAD ZOOOOOOMBIIIIIE~♪♫

JÄVLA SUGA MIN KUK TIKAR ~holds up middle finger!~ wait wait wait.... you dont speak svensk. im sorry.

Hey hey... remember when i was at that party? yaknow with the bitches?
no? Ah fuck. Thats right we all got busted by the cops. SHIT.

MY WEEEEEEEED ~chases cop~ COME BAAAHCK

WHOA, my balls just dropped ~shuffling noise~ ~dragging sound~ uuuuuuugh ;x theyre draggin the floot mate. Halp. please.

Hey man, i smoked crack, got a boner. and realised i was on fire. Yeah... CRACK, not even once... Unless its asscrack BUAHAHA

~sniff sniff~ I SMELL BULLSHIT, no thats just you... ~disapproving stare~ Shut the fuck up bobby.

man, my head... she got the booty --- Theys just ... so much ass... i was fappin to her tits flabbin to her blibs, wait.. woah, wha?

dude we should just go.. mow some random people down ...
Like the nazis?
NO dipshit not like the nazis, more like the brazillians, how they handle crime!
so like the nazis!
GOD DAMNIT BILLY, NOT LIKE THE NAZIS ~puts gun in your face~ ~pulls trigger~ Shit billy ; _ ; i didnt wanna do it, you just... wouldnt get in my gas chamber, you stalling motherfucker v-v

so... porn. Go fap to porn hub --- heres a link
http://www.pornhub.com Go fap. ....
No really, i have thyme, lots of it. Go fap, ill make some thyme shit.

Motherfucker i said go fap GET YO BABY GRAVY ALL OVER MY TITS. ....... please?

hey hey .u. you see that girl.
The ugly one?
Woah woah woah, just because shes 500 pounds... that...does..nt.....mean. SHIT RUN SHES GUNNA SIT ON US!!!!

America. Gotta love the freedom; the freedom to get into trouble
~breathes in heavily~
~gets thrown into jail~
I JUST WANTED SOME AIR OFFICER!!!!
~Officer dickfuck:Tell it to the judge!

In this prison many buttfuckings from bubba were entailed in my unsighed waiver; Did he care HELL NO! eventually he gave up, But he forgot he had a key in his dickhole; HAHA, ... now if only i could dig it outta my ass.... FUCK

Bubba, NO NO BUBBA NOT AGAIN, I DONT NEED gajhgkjhg ooooooooho yeeeeesss~~~♥"

SO, when the ice wizard took my tits back, he started floppin them big ol tiddies, and i was like 'DAAAYYUM GIMME DEM TATAHS ლ(´ڡ`ლ) and he was like 'Nigga ~flops tiddies up real good~' and i fondled the fuck outta his funbags. You see when you're suckin tit, time flies, and before i knew it i was 80. What the fuck.

Hey Hey, You seen my jizz rag? ~points ~ yeah that one that you're using on your face thaaanks ♥

Sierra, You cunt. WHY DO YOU GOTTA BE SUCK A FUCKING WHORE

hey cumstain, come here often?

I remember... when i was old enough to talk, Damn son, I said shit like "BITCH MILK ME" to my mom AALLL the time.

talkin bout milk, ay girl you wanna slap me with that good go--- NO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO, OOOOH HEEEELELLLLL NAH"

DAMNIT CARL, ITS JUST A FUCKING ZOMBIE. SLAP THAT BITCH IN THE NOSE. SHE'LL LET GO, and if she doesnt... Well then. CUNTSLAP THE HO!

hey nigga, you seen my contacts ~walks into wall~ NOPE

Screw hugs, I want pussy.

Lemme drown in that shit ლ(´ڡ`ლ) cmon giiiirl

~gets cockslapped~ BRUH, I KNOW YO HO IS DOWN FOR IT, SHE TOLD M--- ~gets punched~ gfjkhakjdhg

♪Baby cum back you can bust all over meeee

So did you know, what i was a lil boy, I got my schlong stuck in a toaster oven, Heh, guess you could say it was burnt sausage heheh

Anybody else play games? I play games, I got lots of games. Like Lets strip the hooker, Lets pin the dildo on the bitches ass... Who's the ho, draw the dick, and taste test. Personally I like a lil hankypanky, but yaknow thats banned so.... Let me shank you with my spear, instead ( ° ʖ °)

( ° ʖ °)╯ 卍 HAIL ZEE SHIRD RIEGHT, LELELELELELELELELEE ~busts prematurely~ gaahauahhahaaaaaaa ~raging boner sticking out to osama~

72 virgins you say? I'm down for a gaybar. ~chugs vodka~ LEEETS DOOO IIITTT
~distant gay moaning~

So hey, I'm back at it in December 2017, with the memes. Who wanna suck my pussy til I queef loads?

hey hey, you I know you want this dildo hole. Come. Suckysuck, I taste like buttered fish in a rotten fish basket. You know you want it.... It's on the discount rack, I swear, i'm clean...! Okay... MAybe that stripper lied. 75% clean I SWEAR!!

hey hey buddy buddy, you wanna see a magic trick? ~steals your face~ MINE MOTHERFUCK ~slams into pole~ dughaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh mummiiiie D;

Bitch tits Bitch tits, I like 'em big bouncy n round. Bitch tits, round a bound, drop on me and touch my tooshie ;3

🇳🇱🚬

Hey baby. you come here often? ~gets slapped~ WAITER, CHECK PLEASE, I'M GOING TO HAVE SEX TONIGHT O u o

Hey hey hey hey. We can be a family, go underground you and I. We could start a family, You. Me. The baby... and your not so weird looking vagina♥

Hey sir, like I said, he's dug in like a tick"
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"
" *sigh* Breach it"
"Roger that"
*BOOM*
"Actually on second thought, I would very much like to be taken alive, just let me clear the ol browsing history... *click click tap tap tap tap* oh no no no NO"
*TACKLE* AHHHAH NOT COOL MAN

well you see, maybe if we just moved all the FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE TO ANARTICA
oh wait, i'm already here. SHIT

TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOU

would you like some... Cocaine *snorts line* FUCK YEAH, I FUCKIN' LOVE COCAINE

well you see ben... when you do 20 pounds of cock, and all you see is floppy bitches with saggy titties, you just wanna take some pussy and hoof it to the hilltops!

OH GOD
DID YOU FART IN THAT?!

SUPRESSING FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE *Dives behind dildo* DAMNIT MEN, WERE FUCKED CALL BACK--- ~gets shot in head~

Talk about a fucktastic whirlwind adventure

so once more we're back in the glorious land of dicktopia, without a paddle. You see, so after the wizard gave me my schlong back and he started slammin those titties down like a drugged up dopefuck, all me and him did was have gross, semi-unconsentual buttsecks. me taking it like the floppy dolt I am, would roll over let him bust in my cheeks, he would flap on over, and id bang his drums til those hakuna de tatahs would flail like apache wings. You see the lesson here, ALWAYS DO MORE COKE MUAAHAHAHAHA nah nah, me and the wizard started dealing to the reaklings, we fucked over the mob.... we fucked over the dealers... we didn't care. hell half the time we turned over daycares, and made the bitches pay us our dues. CANT BE PIMPIN OUT THEM HOES WITHOUT OUR CARE SMH.

hey flingers, would you like some dingers for your dingledingding ;3 eh eh?

DO RAY ME FA SO LA TEE DOH!
NO NO NO, GOD DAMNIT SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BLASTERED BITCH!
GAAAAAAAAAAAH FUCK

you just gotta think cool thoughts... like eating cool mint flavored ice cream.... at the morgue

Sometimes I really just wanna bang my cock up inside a door, but then I remember "Why the fuck would I do this to a door" when I could be out FUCKING YOUR BITCH ;D?

Or... your mother.

God.... how I miss the good ol days of bubba spreading my cheeks like a limpdick foosnoodle with a message bent to bang my drums HNNNNNNNG x;

man... I just wanna immasculate a bunch of inebriated Hobo's and watch them fight to the death for a subway sandwich

CHOP CHOP, this shit smells like a wet dog. ~shoves face in~ IVE NEVER FELT SO ALIIIVE!!!
whoa whoa whoa there dumbfuck, whatchu doin? WHAT YOU DOIN?! theres a fine for that!
GAH OFFICER, I AINT DO NOTHIN!
Mmmhmm mmhmm They don't call me Officer dickfuck for no reason. get in my van ( ° ʖ °)
MOMMY D: I NEED AN ADULT!!
I am an adult ( ° ʖ °)
I NEED ANOTHER ADULT!!!

whoa whoa whoa, we're only like... 2 days into this drug cartel thing, and you're already addicted to every-fucking-thing
TELL IT TO MY DEPRESSION Q-Q

is he dead? ... no no no.

JUST GIVE ME A PLASTERED BAG OF DILDOS SO I CAN FUCK ALL THE BITCHES

I love some really good burritos. man. Give me some floopy I want it. long hard, and fucking HOT MMMMF YES

can I pls die I REALLY WANT IT TO TASTE LIKE WARM.
But ... warm isn't a flav---
SHUT UP, DONT TELL ME HOW TO FUCK MY WIFE
but sir. You're tripping on acid...
SHUT UP. THE FUCKING LLAMAS ARE TELLING ME TO EAR RAPE ALL THE FUCKING LITTLE DOKI DOKI'S O - o

I'm a pimp.

A Pimp with a little dick Q.Q

banjo bobbo wanna spank your hammy to make a lil slappy on daddys lappy ( ° ʖ °) YEET

"...And what are you doing here?" I came looking for booty... "You came looking for sex from an underage child?" "Nono, i came lookin' for mans butt. Naw' i know who ya are chris hason, see, i call ya chris handsome. You can bring in them cops and them cameras, it makes me no difference. Ya see chris handsome, I watch yo TV show and i know who ya are. I like ya, and i want cha, now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. "Okay... cut he's not coop---" DONT MAKE ME DESTROY THAT ASS NOW CHRIS ---- I AM A BOOTY WARRIOR! "aaaaahhAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE DILDO DANKIN'S how many times do i have to teach you this lesson old man?! ~holds up fingers ┌∩┐ GET FUCKED D:<

man i'm not as randomly awesome as i was when i wrote the rest of this shit. Heck, believe it or not almost everything i say is made up, or stolen (copied from movies) .... like on the spot
Like, i mean I'm also sober 100% of the time, save for a couple cigs now and then

SO here we are mister fluffles
Meow
Don't you meow me, i will turn your cute fluffy ass into-----
Meow
DAMNIT MISTER FLUFFLES DON'T YOU DO THAT TO ME D; you know i cant take you seriously when you -----
M E O W

so listen listen, this one mofucka comes up to me, and is like "AY YO, GIMME DEM TATAHS" and im all like "WHOA BRO, CHILL I CANT GIVE YOU NO TADDAH, you are a toaster!

Strippin' on the bus brap-la-la~ Strippin' on a bus, BRA-LA-LA~

Hi, my name is randy, and i'll be your manwhore for the day
RANDY, YOU FUCKIN' WHAT?!
I suck peepee fo you yass?
no bitch
~tackles~
SCRAAAAAAAAAH MOMAAAAAAHHHHH AHAHAFHJADFLHADFH
I AM A BOOTY WARRIOR!!!

Another tale from the land of Dicktopia : So there I was, strolling down pimpstreet, lookin' like a swagster, when all of the sudden, a walking fire-hydrant comes outta nowhere and says "SUGOI, HNNNG SENPAI, I'M GONNA CUM!" then blows a slippery, wet hogsnaggin' load of water at me. Sliding down the street, i smash my nuts into every beanpole along the way (Like seriously, why were there so many Mexicans Dx) Well, now turns out i'm gonna be a woman! doc's done told me "MMMMHMMM, you got ghosts in ya dick, better turn it to a vagineroo!" ...course he then passed out on me.... But hey guys wish me luck!
THE FOLLOWING DAY!
waking up, not feeling any difference, i figured i'd crank one out, ship sailing full mast, when AVAST, to my eyes, the doc was right! GHOSTS! GHOSTS IN MY DICK! ...for there was none. And now i run around screaming "GHOSTS IN YOUR DICK" and that is why, we need to build a wall.

^ dude i'm so fucking tired that i'm actually going to leave this in here

^ and that LIKE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME
*gross sobbing*

So to all of those who think threatening me with "O, well don't make me boot you" GUESS WHAT? KISS MY FUCKIN' TWAT, do it, DO IT, you may have the grapes, but sir, I will personally guarantee your stay in hell will be Extra accommodating c;

OOOOOoooo, so, we're threatening priests now? HOW EXCITING :D

just gotta... gimme... all... that PHAT ASSS HNNNNGGAGAGAHHGGGHHHH
CHILL THE FUCK OUT ITS A DAYCARE
but... but... i swear they want it, THEY'RE LOOKIN AT ME, THEY'RE DROOLING!
NO, THEY'RE JUST NURSES TIMMY, CALM YOURSELF!

beep boop beep boop boop LALALAAAA~ I swear, i'm like a retarded jeff dunham sometimes.

ATLEAST HE GETS PAID TO BE CRAZY

Hey, How are you? Come here often? Want some dick?
WHOA WHOA WHOA
...Oh, i'm sorry, did i come off too strong? Damn... I always fuck things up.

The real comedic gold behind the senile scribbles on my webpage are that you can slowly see my humor devolving into some cancerous tumor of "KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

and then you're just left with the residual cumstain that's left, and i'm just like
*SHAZAM* 'sup bitch, wanna lick my clit?"

...the fuck is wrong with me?

gummy worm, gummy worm, I got gummy worms WEEHEEHEEE~

~snorts cocaine~ HEY KIDS YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING FUCKIN' BATSHIT BONKERS? WATCH ME JUMP OFF THIS CLIFF ~dives facefirst into floor~

ALAS! our fun ends, with a bang, a wimper, nay! anywho♥ i hope you enjoyed your stay at villa de perv HUEHUE. seriously though... come back for more posts of epic randomness!

https://fr.avatars.imvu.com/Filbert

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Welcome you sexy son of a bitch

About my bum~

My homos♥

Blop blop

LOL yeah.