~Scarred~
Why did this have to happen to her?
How come things can't be like they were?
Fearing for her life and wishing she'd die at the same time
I'm not sure you know this mom, but your making me lose my mind
I understand that your scared
But you dont have to act like I never cared
It's not my fault he dosn't understand
Don't you know that the doctors hold your life in their hands?
I can see the fear in your eyes
And I can sometimes hear your silent cries
The things that are going on is going to leave us permanintly scarred
But its not like that never changes
When you always told me you can die from stress I never believed you
But I think I have one foot in the ground too
We're both getting worse as the days go by
And we're often asking ourselves 'Why?'
It seems God has no mercy on us now-a-days
Because everything is in just such a craze
I don't even know what I would do if you left me
Hell, who knows I might be right behind you
I'm tired of people telling me 'your strong', 'it'll be fine', 'you'll pul through'
Bullshit, 'no I'm not', 'how do you know', 'I'm glad you think so because I'm not sure'
Alot of people say that ime heals all woulds
But truthfully I think it just makes it worse
A friend also told me that every scar has a story
But I'm not sure if I'll live to tell this one.....




*Did You Know?*
Did you know when I used to cut it was because of you
And all the shit you put us through
Did you know when I say I'm ok or I'm good
Most of the time I'm breaking down?
Did you know I usually never tell the truth, not that I'm really that dishonest
But to keep you safe from not really knowing me?
Did you know I've lived through so much horrible shit
That even my mom dosnt know half of it?
Did you know I cant even trust myself
That much anymore?
Did you know that the two people that actually
Understand me are named Kelsey and Xavier?
Did you know I never once
Told my mom the real truth?
Did you know I still want to be self abusing
But the only thing that's holding me back is not being able to find a decent razor?
Did you know I cant even mention that monsters name
Anymore without cringing or crying?
Did you know I highly doubt any of you except
The two people mentioned abouve actually know the real me?
Did you know that if I keep on writing this
It wont end?